"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize