Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
