worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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