it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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