The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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