I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
