I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
