Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My balls are so social today.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
