I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
