i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
