Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
farters have to be the big spoon...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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