her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize