It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
there is glitter all over my balls
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