So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize