Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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