I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize