i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
