People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
