is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
