Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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