some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
