I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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