Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
