I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
