I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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