Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
