i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
