I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
