I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
