We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
