i permit you to call me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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