Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
