sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
