So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
time to smoke my breakfast
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize