Your mouth is God's brothel.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
