what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
