I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
then he tried to convert me to islam
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
