Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it's great music for shaving your balls
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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