I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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