guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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