My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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