Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
