I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
