Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
