i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
