KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
