Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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