I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm having to shit out rocks
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