you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm really busy with my period
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