Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
