just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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