Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
