Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
