OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
