girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
