Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
