Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
