Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
