spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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