Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
