That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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