I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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